Listen, lists are the best. A list of the best. In an order. The best order. They’ve been arranged, by someone in the know aka A MOTHERFUCKING AUTHORITY, so you don’t have to. All you have to do is peruse down it from the TOP to the BOTTOM. And bingo bango you’ve got yourself some sweet ranked knowledge that will put you on the road to the ladder to the big list in the pie in the sky. The following are the 7 best top 10 lists in the world as determined by the International Consortium of Lists and Rankings:

Top ten haunted lighthouses
Top 10 sex positions in the world
Top ten most expensive burgers
Top ten dumb words for vagina
Top ten schools for women’s golf
Ten best tips for buying roller skate wheels
Ten tips to grow teen facial hair faster

Okay, spoiler alert: WE’VE GOT SOME TAKEAWAYS HERE! The only way to do your best is to read the best. The TEN BEST. Because eleven doesn’t cut the mustard. It doesn’t even part it’s hair. So you have to absolutely ensure you have a list of ten things that mean more to you and them and us and all than anything else. TEN. 10. X. Not one more, not one less. Ten. Got it? Got it? Got it? Good. So if you can narrow that list down to seven you are in list heaven, baby. ‘Cause Yahweh hisself cums clouds of hot, thick virgins when she reads a sweet Fuckin’ A list of 7 pieces of steaming awesome shit. And when the arch-duke of the cosmos wants to bullet point the 7 best of the 7 best of the ultimate 7 whatever in order of MOST FUCKING IMPORTANT you gotta believe he/she/DannyTrejo is checking the top 7 lists of best lists of ten most important things and making sure their/its/MargaretAtwood’s list is ON NUCLEAR FUCKING POINT. And, most important of all, you must ensure that you absolutely just do your perfect best to make it bank not dank, cause its rank won’t stank if it don’t wank blanks, dig? Y’all better, chum, cause in this new modern now of an age if your list list ain’t on the list list you’re done like Gandhi in Pakistan. So tug hard and rub fast and let fly those g-spot streams of creamy lists. Society is depending on you.