How Green Was My Lazer

“It was neither zip nor zap nor even zirp. No, that day, the day the technocratic dream died on the digital vine, on that particular day the sound that many thought they would never hear over the electric plasma beams of industrial corporate penitentiary data flows and hyper neutronic thumbscrews singing the song of conquest for a once and final and total victory for the all-deserving overclass, the sound that ultimately set the sequence of their doom into sonic motion was: no”

–excerpt from “A Cool Dude’s Guide To The Neon Wars” by Ram Bananazzz

Beyond Technology Magazine presents: Electric Burlap

Once upon a time a man who smelled as surly as he looked which was incredibly stood upon the hill at the centre of the town pretty near the big computer factory and he took a big breath and pointed at the factory and said,

“They get that goofy maroon to pull its microchips outta its electric asshole and stop talking like a hysterical buffalo and do some proper processing then maybe one a these days we’re gonna get a machine that can really tell it like it is. And then you turnip faced techno dorks are really gonna get an earful. I swear to freakin’ God you will. But until then you’re gonna hear it from me, big Jim human nobody special Phd! So eat it, you catamite dimwit amateurs!”

He barked it out like he was commanding the moon to take a shit on the night sky and not bother wiping and maybe it would’ve if the guy hadn’t been such a goddamned bumptious wad of flavourless gum.

So no one not a single soul took him seriously.

And now.

Well.

We all wish to sweet Hell we had.

The end.

Life. The Universe. And Policies.

©️The Leather Douche

GameJug Magazine says “this activity passes the time pleasantly”

When we put on the goggles

When we put on the gloves

When we boot up the drive

Plug in

Log on

Press “START”

And then that is of course

the first day of the last day of our life

The Day The Robot Laughed: v10.2

Begin humour.

An android entertainer was travelling in its autonomous ground vehicle when it paused at a station to re-charge the conveyance’s batteries. In the rear compartment of the vehicle it had stored a manual air-powered musical machine known as an accordion. The android had exited the vehicle to charge its own power cells and when it returned later it saw that the rear window of the conveyance had been smashed out. It examined the damage and discovered that some miscreant had deposited a second accordion in the rear of the vehicle and made a clean getaway.

End humour.